Bird Brains! No one want to have bird brains, well, now maybe you do. Research on woodpeckers has found that slight restriction of the jugular vein keeps a little more brain in your skull so your brain doesn't slosh around so much. Without this sloshing, clinical trials has found a significant reduction in the number and severity of concussion like syndromes. With bird brains helmet, you'll be able to be like a woodpecker out on the field and hit your head against hard objects all day, everyday.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire. In the tradition of A Prairie Home Companion, this ad, among others, will form the backbone of the underwriting and sponsorship of my podcast.
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