Wednesday, February 11, 2015

VTA Marketing

Are you still using 20th century techniques based in psychology to sell your products? Well move into the 21st century and get your products sold through neuroscience marketing. Amygdala, dopamine, frontal cortex, serotonin, emotion, decision-making, all of these interact to create a space where a product is either bought or not. By hacking the neurocognitive architecture involved in reward and decision-making, we create a perceptuo-emotional experience that influences both episodic and procedural memory, altering future buying behavior. Scientifically evaluated by our team that includes at least one cognitive neuroscientist, our p-hacked, post-hoc and underpowered analyses will overwhelm you with our ability to beat other marketing approaches. We'll show with psychophysiological, eyetracking and fMRI studies how we tap into the brain to make your product the bell and your customers Pavlov's dogs. Mention the keyword EngagedBrain to receive a discount on our "Amygdala" package and scare 10% off your order price.

Disclaimer: This is a work of satire. In the tradition of A Prairie Home Companion, this ad, among others, will form the backbone of the underwriting and sponsorship of my podcast.

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